Gene Gunston: Bidet Test Subject
"Gunston Bidet use only the finest recycled water to ejaculate back up your arse."
"Bugger me, this water smells a bit iffy..."
"Fuck me, is that a floater?"
THE GUNSTON BIDET TESTING AREA
In this area you can test out the various Gunston bideii models on your arsehole prior to selecting the bidet type that best suits your bumhole specifications.
As you can see in the photo on the right, the Recovery Chairs in the post-bidet testrun Recovery & Relaxation area are airy and ventilated to provide you with maximum aeration and recovery for your smashed datehole after getting half a fucken reservoir tsunami'd right up your filthy great clacka.
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ps, ffs, DON'T sit on that cactus on the table. We've been over this. The relief will be temporary and we don't want to have to amputate your arse. Not again. Not after last time.
Arse vs Rocks.
Which will come out on top? Your arse or these rocks? This is the area where we test water pressure specifications for new Gunston Bidet prototype models.
As a safety measure, first we pre-moisten the rocks prior to the test subject (Gene Gunston) eating and digesting them. If the prototype Gunston Bidet can't dislodge these tastefully pre-moistened rocks from Gene-o's stroppy little sphincter then it's back to the drawing board.
Yes, that's right. Those 3 brown lumps in the picture to the right are human stools. Like rocks from Mars. We here at Gunston Bidet keep them around to serve as a stark warning of the dangers of NOT using a Gunston Bidet. That being, using a bidet that doesn't have the cubic capacity and sheer magma-lancing firepower to extricate the gnarliest shits from the deepest reaches of your black hole. Gunston Bidet's will go full Stevie Hawking on your arse and yes, they might leave you a cripple like poor old Steve-o but at least we will get every last bit of compacted shit out from up your arse.
